Dear Reader: Personal details in these stories have been altered or omitted to protect individual privacy. However, the essence and core of each story remain true to their original experiences.
My life felt like it was gone. I have never felt so scared in my whole life.
As far back as I can remember, I always felt odd in my own skin, always felt I wouldn't be liked, I was unhappy. I came to my teens and found alcohol, and that was it, I found my best friend, and my worst. I started drinking at 14 by 16 was already in treatment and AA meetings.
I drank to numb myself from day one, and when I came out of treatment took to drugs, it was ten times worse, each time progressing further and further to my addiction.
I went through every substance I could get until I bumped into heroin. This took me to Dublin, within a short time I was hooked, sick and homeless. I was always running from me. I came to Dublin pregnant, and I put myself through a lot of pain. I was 19, pregnant and on the streets, so sick from heroin. My life felt like it was gone. I have never felt so scared in my whole life. When I went onto methadone, I had never even heard of it. After three years of torture I got clean from heroin and methadone, but alcohol came back.
My first child I gave to social services as I didn't want her in that life. Alcohol came back around to me, and that was it. I drank and took cocaine. This was the worst time of my life. My little boy was born. My addiction continued until he was one years old. We experienced chaos, ambulances, guards, and charges. My boy was taken out of my home by social services while I was drunk. This was my rock bottom, I had no more left to give to this addiction, it had stripped me bare.
I made the decision to go to the only place I knew, H.O.P.E.. This was my decision, die or live. I walked through those doors, beaten down, everything lost. I was treated with complete kindness by the H.O.P.E team, and I poured my heart out. They helped me get into treatment nearly three years ago, and now I am living my best life. I am so thankful for what H.O.P.E helped me to achieve. They are my family.
Today, in my own skin, I am proud to be me. I feel a freedom from within myself. I can’t describe a peace, I have my son back and he is thriving. I have my home and everything I lost.
I'm currently just finishing my first year in addiction studies, as I would love to be able to help young women in the future. I am in the gym, healthy living and I'm currently running with the H.O.P.E Recovery Runners. This is something I thought I would never achieve. We recently done a 10k and are training for a half marathon. I also volunteer with H.O.P.E at their various events, and love being able to give back to the community. H.O.P.E. continues to support me, and I know I can go to them if I need help accessing grants or further studies, or any other issues that will come up in my recovery. I know the door is always open as Recovery is a life long process.
One thing I realized through my recovery is that I am important in this world, as important as the next person, and I am here to live. I thank my friends in H.O.P.E for being there for me through it all and I'm looking forward to my future.
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